Maple Spice Pumpkin Pie Smoothie

I really wanted to do right by this recipe. Anyone who has known me long enough knows that I love pumpkin pie flavored (pretty much) anything. Especially pumpkin pie ice cream, which I can no longer eat because at some point in my adult life when I ate dairy it started to feel like someone was stabbing me in the stomach. (Et tu stomachus?) There was a smoothie place I frequented in my early 30’s and every year around this time they’d bust out a pumpkin pie flavored smoothie. You better believe I bought the big ol’ barrel-hug-your-arms-around-it size and drank that till I peed orange.

My mission with this pumpkin pie smoothie was to get it to taste like a milkshake. This took a little work over the past week, but I think I achieved success this morning. I figured I’d nailed it when I realized I was halfway done with the smoothie in less than 30 seconds. I decided to put the smoothie in the refrigerator so I wouldn’t drink it so fast, but then I just kept doing a walk of shame back and forth to the refrigerator, opening and closing the door over and over again for three minutes until there was nary a drop of pumpkin pie smoothie to be had.

This is a sweet smoothie, but it’s Halloween and dammit, we deserve a sweet treat — especially if it’s going to be healthy. Now, if you’re shuddering at the ingredients listed because you’re calculating it’s going to be about a thousand calories — and you’d be right — keep in mind these are nutrient dense ingredients with high quality fats. My body was so satisfied after this smoothie that I didn’t have a pang of hunger for six hours. Still not sold? Share it with someone then, not that I think you’ll be able to once you try it. I had Kidbe in the baby carrier while making this and I shared some with her. Both of us were sporting some serious orange moustaches.

The only minor complaint about this for me is that it wasn’t cold/frosty enough. If you know how to get the texture to be more like an icy milkshake, please post in the comments below!